2 Nephi 4

Nephi says his soul "delighteth in the scriptures and my heart pondereth them." It's interesting that Nephi must use scripture to write scripture. One thing about truth, it is usually felt before it is understood. Sometimes we can't explain something fully, but hearts know fully that it's true. The process of a growing testimony is in a person's heart telling him things his mind doesn't understand yet. But eventually, the mind and the heart will come into union because understanding revelation requires that our hearts feel and our minds know. It is one thing to have revelation, and another to understand it. The Pharaoh of Egypt dreamed a dream but couldn't interpret it. Belshazzar saw the hand of the Lord write a message on the wall, but couldn't translate it. There are millions of people who have the Bible but don't understand it. But it all begins with the heart. That's why we have to be willing to be taught, to be humble and try to learn what we don't know. And it is a life long process.

I want to thank Nephi a thousand times for this chapter. He is one of the great prophets and he shows us that he has his own weaknesses he battles just like everyone else. He says temptations and sins easily beset him and his heart groans because of his sins. To me the key words are "nevertheless I know in whom I have trusted." Nephi's great message here is that sin doesn't have to turn us away from the Lord. When we fall, the Lord is still there to support and love us. In some ways, it's probably good to have a keen sense of our own weaknesses, but we have to be sure that we don't descend into continual self-condemnation without remembering why the atonement is there. The process Nephi goes through with this is a great guide for what we should do. He first remembers all of the blessings he's received from the Lord, and then asks himself three questions, "Why should I yield to sin? Why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry?" There is no doubt Nephi is upset with himself, just like we would be, but he doesn't stay there. It's like he's saying, "Wait a minute. Why am I wallowing in all of this guilt and self-condemnation?" He quits playing the mind games and tells himself to let his soul (heart) wake up and start rejoicing instead of condemning himself. Then in verses 30-35 we get his beautiful prayer.

We are always good people in spite of the wrong things we say or the misdeeds we do. We're not Lamans and Lemuels who are wicked, who seek wickedness and the destruction of those who are trying to live the best lives they can. We have our faults. We commit our sins. But we're still loved by the Lord. He is always there for us. He doesn't condemn us so why should we do that to ourselves? He doesn't limit us because of our weaknesses and we shouldn't limit ourselves either.